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Friday, June 6, 2014


I came across this thoughtful article by Mavis Mazhura, who is a Transformational Speaker, Facilitator and Coach.  Mavis graciously accepted my invitation for her to be a guest on my blog when I told her that my friends would find her insights helpful. I urge you to read this great, down-to-earth article and leave your comments below. Here is Mavis:
Isn't it always interesting when you look back in hindsight and you say to yourself I wish I had a foresight back then I would have done things differently! There are many things I would have done differently but I will talk about 4 things.

1. Embrace my Story
’Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”-C.G. Jung
The body remembers everything that has happened to it and our emotions help us to store up information in our unconscious mind. The unconscious mind weaves a story of our life in our memory. Most people are minors of their story because they minimize or belittle themselves by denying the story that shaped who they are. I realize now that it is difficult to be authentic and confident without accepting your story. Most of our childhood experiences are lying in the sub-conscious mind and they influence our adult behaviour from under the radar. I was stuck in mass consciousness as a young adult, wanting to fit in and trying to escape my story, but I know now that my breakthrough lay in embracing that story and become a hero of it.
2. Find the Sanctuary Within

’Men, like nails, lose their usefulness when they lose directionand begin to bend’’. ~Walter Savage Landor

Discovering your purpose connects you with the sanctuary within and direction that cannot be easily swayed by external forces. When you have discovered your purpose, it is not easy to be sidetracked or distracted, if it does happen it is also easy to go back to it. When you are not fulfilled due to not living out your purpose, it is easy to feel frustrated and/or frustrate others in the process, because you are unwell inside your self, you are not being authentic. When frustrated by not being authentic to self or your God given purpose, some people then seek sedatives or anesthetics to temporarily soothe themselves from feeling unwell. They lose focus towards their usefulness and begin to bend, engaging in self-sabotaging behaviours like alcoholism, womanising, making others responsible for their happiness, complaining, seductress or simply being idol. These behaviours also perpetuate a feeling of false fulfillment and unhappiness hurting self and others. If you do not pursue something worthwhile, you will pursue something worthless. People pursue different things in search of happiness. Some pursue money, some pursue marriage and some pursue children. Only to discover that none of the things they pursed give them that sense of peace and this is because they have not pursued their true mission. I believe when you pursue your purpose the others desires will ultimately be added on and even if they are not it would not be an issue for you. When you limit what you are capable of or who you truly are, that drains energy out of your being. I sidetracked a little by not pursuing my purpose earlier. Most successful people are people who pursued their purpose early in life.
3. Modeling
“If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.” — Isaac Newton
People are the biggest resource and, whether we are aware of it or not, we are influenced by the people we surround ourselves with, whether it is through music or books, movies or the food we eat. Your results are affected either positively or negatively by what you surround yourselves with. You will use some of the phrases they use, behave like them sometimes, your tastes also influenced by them. If you do not have a plan, you will just be going with the crowd, or if you have a plan and you surround yourself with people or things not flowing in the same direction as you, you may experience friction and internal conflict on whether to go or to stay where they are. It might also take you longer to get your results because no one holds you accountable, you may read a book or listen to an audio tape, but those things will not hold you accountable; other people will hold you accountable and push you to achieve your maximum potential.
I ask people in our EQ course, who is your role model? Some often respond ‘myself’ or, ‘I have no role model’ or,’ I do not want to be disappointed when those people behave in a way contrary to my expectations’. This shows how some people are unaware that someone is influencing them involuntarily. We learn through modeling aware or unaware. Intentional modeling gives you an opportunity to choose intentionally and purposefully someone with the results you want and identify their patterns of success and emulate them. This helps to generate positive emotions of curiosity, interest and optimism, learning both from their successes and failures and how they responded to challenging situations. Remember, role models do not have to be perfect; they are human like you and me, so choose what you want to focus on to your own benefit. Check the your relationships, who has the relationship with money that you would also want to create, who has a marriage that you would want to create, who has wisdom that you would to create, who has physical fitness that you would want to create? What are their patterns? Model the patterns and you do not have to start from scratch. I wish I had chosen my models at 22.
To be successful in any area, you have to learn about it as much as you can. Learn the rules and the science behind any area you want to fulfill. We live in a world bombarded with information and so many distractions that if no one holds you accountable, you will abandon your dream and your goal and get stuck in habits and patterns that are not serving you. A coach/mentor helps you to achieve results faster by holding you accountable and to condition your mind and emotions to new states that are can move you towards your goals. A coach/mentor will help you to expand your awareness, figuring out what is not working and create new ways. Your coach/mentor is an expert guide who will remind you what to do when you are stuck. They are your sounding board and accountability partner. Get a coach/mentor who can get you on track and kick your butt to keep moving, if you already have one that great and remember different areas of your life may require a different mentor. If you check out most successful people, they have a coach/mentor. Learning from the best teachers gets you on the path to success. Who are your teachers? I do not only read from my great teachers, I have purposely met some of them and when I do, one of my dreams or goals is accomplished, and I feel great. If I had a coach at 22 I guess I would be far in pursuit of mu dreams.